Am I normal

I am not sure if I am going through an emotional meltdown. Everyone and everything around me scares me to death. Tears flow down nonstop for no reason at all. If I sit down and think about it is a matter to laugh and brush off my shoulder. But honestly I just want to be left alone. I wish I could scream it to people who cares about me. I know they love me and wants to make sure I am okay.

Its just that I have gone into a werewolf on a newmoon phase. Outside I am perfect and normal. Going to work everyday and getting on with my life. But inside its screams and darkness and what not. Do I need help! I like to think I am normal. Even if I may not be. 

Love and Love again!

 Life is TOO SHORT, to be precise you live 21,914.55 Days 

Sometimes, I wonder if this is all a dream. I fear waking up to your absence.I know we still have a lot to understand about each other. I am scared everything about you is going to end in a second.
I am thankful to God that I found you. I want to walk hand in hand with you throughout this journey!

Nothing else matters, no one else matters. As long as you stay with me! 

I will love you forever and ever! Sounds cheeky! Aye! 

Friends Errands

It hurts more when you learn your friend has been stabbing you from the back for a very long time.

In the end you always return to your family whom you never gave any value over friends. The whole idea of trusting someone seems vague in this scene, but we are all humans and humans do shitty things. To forgive and move on takes very less time compared to keeping the grudge within. 

Everyone wants to be right the whole time! After all who wants to be wrong anyway.

Someday I just hope that love will conquer all, just like it changed me. I have been in love many times, but none whatsoever like this. It changes you so much that even after the rollercoaster rides of ups and downs you still want to be with him. The obstacles seem not worthy of breaking you anymore as long as you two have each other.

I have faith and your love to keep me from falling apart!

Trust Issues

Learning to trust is no easy task. 

You are constantly being bugged by the creatures inside your head telling something is fishy here.

Maybe its not, I just have to trust again, but the fear of shattered dreams and hopes is holding me back.

The fear of being right always has started to eat my rotten soul out. I wish I was wrong for once in my life, but my brain is always alert for the coming danger.

If I could end all of it with a stroke of blade, a small slit... who is going to notice anyway

Oz to Kiwi

So thats it, two years as Aussie is off from tonight. Tomorrow I shall be a Kiwi. Different land yet people would close ones. I am happy though right now sitting in king george square. I am pretty sure life will be happy from now on. Past struggles and pain would be forgotten for a new beginning where everything will be allright. I cant express the mixture of emotions I am feeling right now. You will be fine girl, says me from the other aide! 

Addiction

I thought this will be the last smoke,

The last puff.

But I was so wrong!

It was just the beggining of an addiction

That will sink me down with it. 

Screwed life

I have fucked up my life in more ways that I can keep track of! I aways wonder why me? Why my life is so fucked up aways or stay fucked! I should be labelled as the ultimatum of "fucked". 

All these shit happens when you give priorities to other people in your life rather than focusing on yourself. Trusted ones screw you forever until you make a stand to stay out of this. Its always your own stupid actions that makes things worse. 

I was always afraid of getting my heart broken. Been in a dilemma forever what will I do after that. But now I realise 

Fuck this

Fuck it all

And most importantly

Fuck off

Good things

For good things to happen sometimes you have to make ways. And letting go is such a small thing.